אגרגטור הזנה

Mom's Back Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ד', 07/15/2015 - 15:30

“Been 13 years mom,” you tell her.

She looks at you and your brothers.

“And you’re all still as ugly as your father,” she says.

Mom’s gone again.

Happy Mom’s Back Day!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The First Man

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ג', 07/14/2015 - 17:53

Hovertext: Actually, just put my crotch behind that tree from now on.


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Just a few days left to enter your proposal for BAHFest! 

Tell Your Boyfriend What Happened During The Thunderstorm Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ג', 07/14/2015 - 15:33

“I got married,” tell him.

He’ll ask to who.

“Steve something,” say.

You ducked into a bar you’d never been to before to escape the rain. It was already dimly lit and the lights were blinking with the lightning. Steve something was the only other person in the bar.

“It was too romantic to let the opportunity pass,” explain. “The bartender officiated.”

Your uber is outside. Your boyfriend helps you downstairs. You take off your straw hat (you’re honeymooning in Turks and Caicos) and look up at him.

“Is he good to you?” your boyfriend asks.

“Who?”

“Steve something,” he says.

“No idea,” you tell him. “He watched my gimlet while I went to the bathroom.”

“Goddammit!” your boyfriend shouts. “One time I let a vagrant sneak a sip of your drink and you’re gonna hold that over me forever?”

Open the car door.

“Goodbye Dan,” tell him.

“It’s Dave,” your boyfriend will say.

“Dave,” say. “That suits you.”

“It’s been a nice eleven years,” the Dave guy says as your Uber pulls away, taking you to the airport where you’ll fly to the honeymoon suite of Mr. and Mrs. Something.

Happy Tell Your Boyfriend What Happened During The Thunderstorm Day!

Pluto

XKCD - ג', 07/14/2015 - 06:00
After decades of increasingly confused arguing, Pluto is reclassified as a "dwarf Pluto."

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Pix

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ב', 07/13/2015 - 16:54

Hovertext: PM me your nose pix plz.


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Give Up On Dad Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ב', 07/13/2015 - 13:38

Dad’s not coming.

“He is,” you tell your bride as she waits for you to recite the vows you wrote.

He’s not. And the caterer never got the check Dad said he’d give them. Mom’s new husband Rick will have to pay for that.

“I hate Rick,” you tell your brother and Best Man. “I’d rather everyone go hungry than have mom’s Rick pay a dime for my wedding. Just wait, Dad’ll get here.”

The owner of the wedding venue walks up the aisle and pulls you into a non-consensual embrace from which you can’t escape. Her mouth near enough to your ear to send a whisper straight to your spine, she says,

“Kid. We get married when we realize the limits of the family we were born into, and we decide to try and do better by making a family of our own. You reached the limit of how much a man can shuffle his feet. That girl there in the white, you make her wait a second longer and you’ll give her something to wonder about for the rest of your lives together. Give up on your Pa or I’m calling this wedding a no-go right now. I won’t allow a marriage to start like this. Not under my gazebo.”

She releases you and you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife while your father dances with a prostitute in a motel off the highway, the money for the caterer now cocaine.

Happy Give Up On Dad Day!

Episode VII

XKCD - ב', 07/13/2015 - 06:00
The Lord of the Rings sequel, set years after the Ring hubbub has died down, is just Samwise discreetly creeping back to Bag End to finish dropping the eaves.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Rule of Three

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - א', 07/12/2015 - 16:25

Hovertext: Oedipus Rex would be a great slapstick comedy.


New comic!
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One week left to send in your BAHFest submission! 

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The Village and the Tower

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ש', 07/11/2015 - 15:46

Hovertext: This comic is an allegory for, of course, the 1896 presidential elections.


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חי במסגרת הפרינג'פסט הבאר שבעי יש אפשרות כם לבוא להופעה בודדת

הטאמבלר של פישטונה - ש', 07/11/2015 - 10:56


חי במסגרת הפרינג'פסט הבאר שבעי
יש אפשרות כם לבוא להופעה בודדת

עונג שבת: הרינג ותותים

עונג שבת - ו', 07/10/2015 - 22:47
זה לא קורה הרבה, שכל כך מוקדם בשנה אתה מסמן אלבום שברור לך שיהיה אחד מאלבומי השנה שלך, גם אם המחצית הבאה של השנה המוזיקלית תהיה חצי השנה הכי טובה בעשור. זה נדיר, עבור ישראלים, לראות אמן שאתה אוהב כשהוא בדיוק בשיא, מיד אחרי אלבום מופת, ממש ברגע של התלהטות. וזה נדיר כפליים לראות אמן […]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Babies

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ו', 07/10/2015 - 15:53

Hovertext: Psychologist: OOH! A significant sample size!


New comic!
Today's News:

Just over a week to get your submissions in for BAHFest. We still need a lot more to make these shows go, so please consider contributing! 

XKCD Phone 3

XKCD - ו', 07/10/2015 - 06:00
If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.

Boston Globe review

Etgar Keret News - ה', 07/09/2015 - 23:00

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Pun-Tourette's

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ד', 07/08/2015 - 17:25

Hovertext: I await your hatemail.


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90s Kid

XKCD - ד', 07/08/2015 - 06:00
We remember Rugrats, and think of them every time our kids look at us through their baby gates.
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