אגרגטור הזנה

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - New Valentines

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - לפני 2 שעות 24 דקות

Hovertext: Will you BEE enforcing that restraining order?

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10 points for using row one, 20 for row two, 50 for row three.

Don’t Sleep Day!

Girls Are Pretty - לפני 14 שעות 7 דקות

“Why do you love me?” he asks.

You don’t have an answer.

“You can split or you can explain.”

You sit down on the floor, bundling up your coat under you for a cushion since he doesn’t have any furniture in his apartment.

“I’ll explain,” you say. “Just give me a minute.”

You drove a thousand miles to this tiny one-room apartment where he hoped to start his life again, alone, resigned to not building a life with you. And now here you are, and you should be able to come up with a reason why.

“Maybe I need five minutes,” tell him.

He pours some bourbon into glasses and he gets comfortable. It’s going to be a long night for the both of you.

“Just because I don’t know why I’m here doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend every single second of my life with you until you die first or I die first,” you tell him.

“I want a reason,” he says.

He hands you some paper and pens and you start drawing diagrams.

Happy Don’t Sleep Day!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Wilderness Training

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ש', 02/13/2016 - 18:59

Hovertext: This is exactly how arms work.

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עונג שבת: איפה אתה נמצא?

עונג שבת - ש', 02/13/2016 - 00:05
כאן. התשובה היא שאתה נמצא כאן. 2. אני מצטער, אני לא נוהג לעשות את זה, אבל הפעם אין לי ברירה: האלבום החדש של Anderson Paak פשוט לא יוצא לי מהראש. אולי זה קשור לזה שאני לא מפסיק להפגיז אותו לאוזניים. אני אוהב בו הכל: את הגרוב, את הסאונד, את החיספוס, את החלקלקות, את הרקידות, את […]

MixTape 56 - From Sunn O))) to Talk Less, Say More (Sturday- 12...

הטאמבלר של פישטונה - ו', 02/12/2016 - 22:06

MixTape 56 - From Sunn O))) to Talk Less, Say More (Sturday- 12 Dec. 2013) for 106fm

01. Sunn O))) - Alice (from:Monoliths And Dimensions)
02. Yasuaki Shimizu - Umi No Ue Kara (from:kakashi )
03. Zobel & Thomasius - Kurzarbeit (from:Musik Aus Dem Regen)
04. Bjork - Quicksand (from:Vulnicura Strings)
05. Kill The Vultures - dont bring the devil out (from:Carnelian)
06. Yasuaki Shimizu - Boutique Joy (from:music for commercials)
07. sin fang - Sing From Dream (from:Summer Echoes)
08. Alex G - Mud (from:Beach Music)
09. Liger - utter despair, common misery (from:Liger ep)
10. Ki(10)z - revenge (from:Beach Music)
11. We Are The City - Baptism (from:violent)
12. David Bowie - Scream Like a Baby (from:Scary Monsters)
13. tUnE-yArDs - Wait for a Minute (from:Nikki Nack)
14. Talk Less, Say More - Double Helixxx (from:England Without Rain)

>>>>>>>>>Download Mp3
More Fishtuna Mixtapes here>>>>>>>

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Dark Matters

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ו', 02/12/2016 - 18:11

Hovertext: If you could work gravity waves into it, I'd appreciate that.

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You're A Bronte Sister Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ו', 02/12/2016 - 17:05

Today you’re Amber Bronte, the Bronte sister no one knows about because you’re still temping until you can get your Life Coach business off the ground.

“That’s so great!” your three sisters say to you when you tell them you now have four steady clients and your friend says he can build you a website for free. You don’t add that you think he might want you to sleep with him, and you don’t add that you might go ahead and do that if it means free website by summer.

“You have such persistence!” your sister says.

“Seriously you never give up, no matter how discouraging things are,” your other sister says.

The backhanded digs have begun. Time to throw the focus away from you.

“How are your book tours?” you ask.

They spend the next hour complaining about lackluster promotion from publishers, poorly appointed author accommodations provided by far-flung bookstores, and fans who want too much from them at book signings.

“Oh, Amber, I based a character on you in my new book,” Charlotte says.

Oh dear God.

Happy You’re A Bronte Sister Day!

Wear Something Remarkable Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ה', 02/11/2016 - 18:25

“Remarkable blouse,” your temp will say.

“Thanks, Dylan,” you’ll say to him.

“Remarkable,” he’ll mutter to himself as you step into your office to call your ex-husband.

“He noticed me.”

“That’s great, hon,” your ex-husband will say. “I really hope you find someone.”

“How’s house arrest?”


Your husband is charged with violating building code, reckless endangerment and fraud after putting up a new construction slum and renting it out for $5000 per unit without ensuring even basic support to keep the entire structure from collapsing. You divorced him to keep the tenants from going after your money too, and after being separated for a while you both felt like it worked.

“Go tell that temp your blouse would look even more remarkable on his bedroom floor.”

You do what your ex-husband says and your temp immediately reports you to HR for sexual harassment. You’re fired and humiliated in the press. They’re excited to revisit the one-percenter slumlord story by taking down his ex-wife too.

Why do you listen to your ex-husband? The only thing remarkable he wears is the location bracelet on his ankle.

Happy Wear Something Remarkable Day!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Scrooge

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ה', 02/11/2016 - 18:05

Hovertext: Calm down Ghost of Christmas present. Please. You're drunk, and you're scaring us.

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Today's News:

From now on, all Christmas jokes will occur in February. 

Gravitational Waves

XKCD - ה', 02/11/2016 - 07:00
"That last LinkedIn request set a new record for the most energetic physical event ever observed. Maybe we should respond." "Nah."

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Truth

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ד', 02/10/2016 - 18:19

Hovertext: Seriously, you can write whole books using this technique.

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Today's News:

How the Red Sox could win, with quantum mechanics.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PCUqEkPOpwk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> 

Steal A Bike Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ד', 02/10/2016 - 17:01

When you get the stolen bike home, a man in futuristic dress will be sitting in your living room.

“Oh, you already stole it,” he’ll say.

Roll the bike into your bedroom then sit with the man.

“Do you have any idea who you stole that bike from?”

You shake your head.

“The future. My future. That man is meant to lead the movement that will one day bring America under the rule of fascist tyranny for centuries…if someone can prevent you from stealing his bike. Because when he decides to walk to work he crosses against the light and gets hit by the front of one bus throwing him into the back of another bus, killing him instantly.”

“Oh my God,” you say. “I killed a man. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. In another timeline I come back a little earlier and kill you before you can steal his bike.”

You just stare at the assassin.

“I undershot it by a half hour,” he adds.

You still aren’t sure what’s happening.

“So you’re good. You can live the rest of your life peacefully until the end.”

“But in another timeline you came back at the right time and murdered me?”

He shrugs. “Shouldn’t steal stuff.”

All of this absorbed now, you ask him, “So what are you going to do now?”

“Dunno,” he’ll say. “Can’t exactly go back. It’s a one way time portal only. Guess I gotta find a place to live.”

And that’s how you become roomies with the assassin from a fascist future America who was sent back in time to murder you but got here too late.

Happy Steal A Bike Day!

Hot Dogs

XKCD - ד', 02/10/2016 - 07:00
Okay, I'm just gonna order pizza, and let's never talk about this again.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Junk

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ג', 02/09/2016 - 18:00

Hovertext: We need to stop enabling Saturn, you guys.

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One Night AirBnB Day!

Girls Are Pretty - ג', 02/09/2016 - 17:02

When you arrive at the AirBnB, your kids are bouncing off the walls they’re so excited. You open up the trunk and hand them each a shovel.

“It’s a fun project in the back yard.”

You dig in the far corner of the yard, by the rose bush. You do most of the digging, your older son helping some, but your younger son and daughter can’t hold the shovels very well, so you instruct them to just pick up the rocks when you hit them.

“Can’t we go and play by the stream?” your younger son asks.

You don’t answer because your shovel just made a thud against something wooden.

You and your kids dig the chest out of the ground. You open the lid and reveal the remains of the man your father murdered 39 years ago, the man you helped him bury when you were no older than your youngest.

“He was a threat to our entire family,” you tell your kids. “When your grandad killed him, we were set up financially for generations. But all this land is being leveled for a condo, so we have to get these bones out of here before someone finds them.”

You and your kids carry the chest into the car and head to the stream. You spend all night digging. Once you have the chest in the ground, your oldest jerks his head up the hill.

“Someone’s watching.”

“Robby!” you say. But your son is already on the run.

When you get over the hill you find Robby standing over the body of a drifter who has a shovel shaped gash in his skull.

“We need to dig another hole,” Robby says. “For the family.”

Somewhere, you know your dad is smiling.

You dig as fast as you can so you can get someplace with a signal to try and extend your AirBnB rental, but they’ve already rented the place and you haven’t filled in the hole yet. You’re still digging when the new renters arrive with their kids.

“Robby!” you say. But he’s already run inside the house with his shovel.

Happy One Night AirBnB Day!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The Stats Device

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ב', 02/08/2016 - 17:02

Hovertext: It can violate conservation of information, but it can't have rounded corners.

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Super Bowl Context

XKCD - ב', 02/08/2016 - 07:00
Why did the chicken cross the road? It begins over five thousand years ago with the domestication of the red junglefowl in southeast Asia and the development of paved roads in the Sumerian city of Ur.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The Talk

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - א', 02/07/2016 - 17:31

Hovertext: Now, let's have the talk about how individual effort may matter less than other people's inherent ability.

New comic!
Today's News:

After 800 people pointed out my crappy base-11 number line (that's what I get for doing base-11 before bed), I have altered to votey. So, please press z to go back and give it a look! 

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - The Talk

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - א', 02/07/2016 - 17:31

Hovertext: Now, let's have the talk about how individual effort may matter less than other people's inherent ability.

New comic!
Today's News:

After 800 people pointed out my crappy base-11 number line (that's what I get for doing base-11 before bed), I have altered to votey. So, please press z to go back and give it a look! 

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Base Systems

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - ש', 02/06/2016 - 17:58

Hovertext: If you use toes, base-22 is more reasonable.

New comic!
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שלב תוכן